Why do we shout?

A good friend and colleague of mine shared a story via e-mail, which is almost like this story below. (The difference was that in his story, it was a 'guru' rather than a 'saint'). I don't know where the story originated, but it's nice anyway.

A saint asked his disciples, ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’
‘But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?’ asked the saint. ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’

Then the saint asked, ‘What happens when two people are in love with each other? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens?
They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.


My first thought about why I shout when I'm angry, was because I felt like the other didn't listen. And I guess when you associate the scenario of someone not hearing you, you shout louder in hopes they will listen.

I think it applies the same for online chatting. You start using CAPS LOCK because you feel the other person is not reading what you're typing.


-taken from Li Li's blog

I need anger management.

Counseling, theraphy, whatever.

At least after that first line, I've mellowed down a bit.

Earlier my thoughts were jumbled up between stuff that I want to scream out, and stupid stuff nobody should ever think of.

Here's the jumbled 'mind':

Kick the door. Slam the car. Break something. Cry. I never listen to you. We never listen to you. If you say you can only do things when you're around, it's like I may as well find someone here. If you want to give and expect something in return, please don't. Run away from home. Can't run away from problems. Playing games make you forget the problems. You seem to forget how cranky you used to be after work, and you expect me to be so energized after? Why are you making it so hard? You don't understand, you think you know me but you don't. Why can't you do things yourself?? There's no initiative anywhere. Just because YOU like to snoop around, doesn't mean everyone else does. You always feel like there's eyes watching you. You have double standards. You don't try enough. There's always limitations. You're so into showing off to other people. What happened to simplicity, moderation and humility? Break something, break something now. Curl up in a corner, forget everyone else. Lose everyone else. Kick it. Alone, stay alone. DON'T make me choose. I need to talk to someone. I need to see someone. I have noone to talk to. NOBODY can comfort me. Nobody cares. They say they do. But they just want to control you. I'm stupid. So what if I am. You've been rude, that is not cool and I've lost a lot of respect for you. It's all about pleasing you, you don't care how I feel, how I felt. You're the one who left me to be like this and you're still continuing to do it. Because you weren't around I had to be there. Because you won't listen I had to. Who listens to me? You think I have so much money?? JUST STOP with that double standards. You raised me up to follow the rules and now you keep prodding me to break them. You won't listen. You're too stubborn with your damn narrow mindedness to push beyond. You're stuck in a room even when there's a door. It's always about what you can't do, and exerting your limitations. It's ALWAYS about what you can't do. How could you say things like that, I've never thought you to be that narrow minded. I'm so not surprised you had to find others to back you up. YOU DON'T care about my needs. I'M SURE you will always say that you care, BUT IF YOU REALLY DO I won't feel damn angry and fucked up. MAYBE I am meant to be alone. You want to be like all the people around you, why can't you just appreciate what you have? WHAT'S with all these clutter? Is it THAT HARD to reply? WHY DO YOU BOTHER? To pretend that you care? Why are you so easily influenced by peer pressure? Why are you so embarrassed by us? If you can't fulfill my needs regardless where you are, what's the point of the relationship in the first place? I like skirts. Don't freakin' forget and drop things like a hot potato. Screw it, I don't know what 'family' means. What happened to respect and diversity? Compromise? You CAN'T always get what you want. Can I smash this partition? Why so fancy? Why is it you care so much what other say about you, but not so much what we say about you? Do they really care for you? Why don't they ever visit you?

I need help. AND at this rate, I'm NOT gonna get any. Negative remarks will be ignored.

What can I write in 10 minutes?

I have roughly ten minute before I head out and meet up with Li Li :) It's been a while since we sat and chat, tho today is a little different.

She's going for her first manicure and pedicure :D Hopefully this may help curb a lil' bad habit of hers ;)

The weather this week has been quite bleh. It was rather rainy, like, raining the whole day for the first half of the week. Then beginning Thursday, it's hot. It's just so so hot. Barely any clouds in the sky.

Possibly because of the weather, I started feeling a little 'under the weather'. It started with some itchy/sore/dry throat, and non stop sneezing. Forcing myself to drink a lil' more than usual seems to help prevent any further sickness. Now I'm just headache-y. But that may have been attributed to other things.

Tomorrow's spa session with the mummy should also help me to relax. Everything's been so stressful lately, and there seem to be no refuge anywhere or with anyone. But I won't elaborate on that here, because it's private :P But still, spa is nice... especially when it's cheap :) (tmr's deal only costs RM36 per person!) Thank you group discount sites :)

Now that it's May.. I'm not sure what to look forward to next, besides the above and some work to do at home.

That's ten minutes.

(Including blank moments)

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