Classes have started, I'm sooo tired! xD Itupun tutorials tak start lagi...

So far my first impression of the classes:

macroeconomics 1 - erm... so-so, seems a bit boring atm, hopefully it'll be more interesting later

career planning & management - this one is sooo interesting!! xD our textbook: Job Hunting For Dummies xD and there's no final exam too, all coursework

statistics and probability for actuaries - looking at the notes itself is very intimidating.. :P

global business enviroment - haven't sat for that yet, tomorrow's the first lecture

so far so good, i think... and just graduated from level 2 elementary mandarin today ^^ gonna start private tutoring for level 3 starting next week (eep)

two days ago, on sunday; went to city and yum chaaaaaa! damn nice.. altho it's actually all dim sum... but still damn nice... met unc norman's son and daughter in law and also a new student from China

I want more fooooooood~! xD

Happy Birthday Steven!! (yes, again) xD

This time, to another Steven, who turned 15 ^^ A very happy birthday to you =)

I had a long day out today, and class starts tomorrow >.<

So I'll post about what I did tomorrow



Happy 18th Birthday to you =) Officially an adult now in your country; be sure to take good care of yourself :)

We've come a long way in our friendship, and even though I didn't realize this earlier, I'm truly thankful and honoured to have you as a friend ^^ Best wishes, happiness and prosperity... and *kicks tnt*

Anyways, back to Ayinisms :D the month is nearing the end... and I'm still going ahead with my plans, altho they're still somewhat fuzzy... but it's definitely time to ditch online drama... seriously not worth it... and all of them mostly stemmed from guilds...

Life is improving... I'm starting to like it, especially my housemates... Welcome to the home, Sindy =) But there's also a possibility I may be getting myself involved with some real life drama.. lol, as how Miraz and I discussed it earlier, but I'm gonna try my best to stay safe... xD

Males... complicating creatures, they are =P

我们去吃Kensington Peking

The characters on the title may be the wrong ones.. idk, ok? xD i'm still a beginner

Anyway, forgot to mention... our class went to the Kensington Peking Chinese restaurant yesterday for "end of the term" celebration... me, Yoke, Irene, Cheryl, Gus, and our teacher, Qianbo... Unfortunately Valerie couldn't join us...

Food... was... awesome! =D Gus, being the only male in class, and full of jokes and sarcasm kept the table amused and bewildered at the same time.. especially to Irene, who was sitting next to him xD

Once I get the photo taken at the lunch from Irene, I'll put it up =)

Awesome dinner, tai hao chi le!

Endless drama

Online community is an interesting place.. Filled with all kinds of characters... You can find almost any type of human online

I'm not gonna be too specific, lol... I'm trying hard.. I'm trying hard to stop =P I thought I did great avoiding any online drama and stuff... But seems like I'm sucked into it more =P Blah, who cares

Also, I think I have a weakness for apologies... When ppl do me wrong... and apologize... I get all soft again, and forget all the past crap, and move on like nothing happen... Some are genuine, which I truly am happy about... Some are recurrent... yet I still allow things to happen... Well.. not anymore... I'm gonna stay out of any mess... Avoid any mess... The month is ending soon; it'll be time to finish up the goals that I've set earlier the month

I just basically hate the fact that all this crap distracts me from my classes... I know.. I'm hopeless... And all this rumours and copy pasting convos... distorts the truth so easily, since only a bit of what's said is taken out... I know there was someone I couldn't trust... But with nobody to turn to... Sighs, sorry folks; but I know better now... But I did try

Penat! xD

Sangat penat.. It's been a while since I walked... THAT much xD

Bal nanti kena urut ya 0:-)

FOUR more classes of Mandarin Level 2...

ONE more week till uni starts...

THREE more absolutely free days...

MUST... GO... BEACH!!!!

Welcome To Australia, Bal! =D

*hugs you tight* welcome to Sydney Australia =D

While walking home, I just realized, I should've brought my camera and capture the moments of your arrival here... xD

Today, I woke up at 5.50 AM... I guess that what happens, when I fall asleep at 10 PM :K

After some interesting morning chatter online, I caught the bus around 8.40 AM to the airport since Bal was due to arrive at 9.35 AM, and the bus ride itself is about 40 minutes... It was only around 10.30 AM, when she came out of the gates... ahahaha.. I totally planned my trip wrongly... But anyway, it was definitely an interesting atmosphere at the airport... With so many people waiting for the morning arrivals... Lots of balloons, with phrases like "I miss you" and "Kiss me" was floating in the air, with the holder carrying bouquets of flowers... Wow... And when their partner comes out, they're greeted with a great big hug and tears of joy with laughter... It was amazing... ;)

So finally Bal came out =D She looked somewhat... lost xD more like, in disbelieve that she's actually here in Australia... So we went to Malaysian Hall together, with her mum's friend and daughter driving us there (I managed to get a ride too! =D)

After settling down in her room for the whole semester, we went shopping at Randwick... It's a really hot day! So we took the bus... ahahahaha... Shopped a lot... Ate kebabs... Met some Malaysians there too xD Oh, and I also bumped into Yoke.. Her hair is fabulous! =D

Then.. we took the bus back to Malaysian Hall =D It's really a hot day... We had lots of chat with her new roommate and her friend... Then I walked home.. By the time I reached home, it was about 5.20 PM xD It's been a long day, and I'm so tired... plus it was really really hot.. was sweating a lot by the time I reached home...

Most likely gonna see her again tomorrow.. More shopping 0:-)

*hugs again* Welcome to UNSW, Bal =)

Can I unplug my phone?

Telemarketers... :K

Ahhh, I can't stand them! There's this one particular one, from a communications company, wanting to put a package on my phone line for cheaper calling rates... They've called me FOUR times already, and it's the same guy who sounds very middle eastern (very thick accent)...

Call 1:
He talked to me, offering the package... and as I show my reluctance, he pressed on to the fact I can cancel anytime with no charge and all, and I tried pressing on that I want to think about it first, and yada yada, seems like he doesn't even listen to what I say... So.. I signed up, thinking I can cancel it later (I know.. I'm such a pushover =/)

Call 2:
The same day, he called again, because there was some 'problems' with verifying, so I had to do it again.. which I did... blah... wanted to get it done with.

Call 3:
The following week (this week, and today, actually), he called me up again, and was promoting the services, as if I've never heard of it before, and I kept trying to cut in, saying that I'm signed up and such, and he just doesn't have any ears! Then I told him to stop, and I gave him HIS phone number, to get it into his head that they've called me before, and only then he said sorry, and bye :K

Call 4:
Again... TODAY... the same start... the same questions "what is your phone co service? are you the owner of the account? is the bill under your name?" to which by this time, I just got tired with them, so I denied it... I denied that I'm Naz... and I said that I'm Ayin.. that I'm not the billed person... That I don't know what service I'm on.. and he asked to talk to my 'husband' and he asked me if i speak english... Blah... I denied everything, and he went off... :K

That's the most annoying person to have ever called me... :K

Another instance, twice, the same org called me on separate occasions, two different ppl, to promote something for school-going ppl... and they both would talk about their services and such... and only in the end, they'd ask... 'so how many children do you have, and in what year?'
-.- what's up with these ppl? asking for my husband... children... i'm only 22... and still in uni, and i'm enjoying being single right now, ok? :K

Time to make my number private >.<

Anyways, I had my hair trimmed today =o It doesn't look that much shorter (since I only had like one inch cut, but layered it again), but it does look filler and not so dry anymore... in fact, it feels really soft and great! Me likey! =D Here's how they look like... for now =P Before they get messy again...
But somehow.. it's already messy again... hahaha... but still =DAnyway, Sclazzy gave me this quote from a movie.. I'm not sure from where, but it's a good one, so here it is, so that I can remember it too =)

**Sclazzy** says:
Our deepest fear
Is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear
Is that we are powerful beyond messure

It is our life, not our darkness that most frightens us
You playing small does not save the world
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking
So that other ppl wont feel insecure around you

**Sclazzy** says:
We were all ment to shine as children do
It is not just in some of us, its in everyone
And as we let our own life shine
We unconsciously give other ppl permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear
Our presence automatically liberates others

"Be Mine? Y/N Circle One"

The title is the topic that was placed on the front page of neo.. xD I found it funny =D

Anyway, after non-stop of receiving instructions from myuu on some VPN thingy and proxy stuff... I'm now able to fetch some old files of mine =D

Some of the pics I retrieved was some old sailing pics of mine... my Optimist days =D (before age 16) Most of the pics are on Still Snaps, of course, and now that it's private, do e-mail me or leave me a message or something if you'd like access to it... no guarantees tho =P

Here's my team in 1998 for the Malaysian Games. Representing Kuala Lumpur.
An here is my team, also in the Malaysian Games, in 2006, representing Selangor.

Happy Valentines Day, everyone.



Is an okay day =) The weekend was great.. I enjoyed my birthday overall... Here's what Irene and Yoke gave me for my birthday... +swiss chocolate and candle

The chinese characters means Happy Birthday ^^ "sheng ri kuai le"

This is the character "Xi" meaning happiness =)

Learning a language really requires a lot of practice o.o I need to catch up with these two ppl from my class xD

Seems like myuu's gonna mess up with my computer and connection a bit.. :P Just as long as I get a new notebook soon.. mwahahahaha..

Still feels a little homesick being away from home... maybe it'll get better when the students come back for the next semester, which is starting in two weeks... aaaah....

I'm still forever 21... lol

In my heart, at least... But time goes on, it won't stop for anyone.. So it's also time to update my profile soon...

Anyway, I just want to say a big thank you for the birthday wishes and gifts... This list will grow over time, until my 22nd birthday is over... :)

Thank you, Steven, Miraz, Sclaz, Helen, Balqis, Rudy, Anuar, Mom, Shazwi, Bram, Seba, Sharon, Debi, Jurrie, Avais, Jack, Wanie, Scott, Yoke, Steven, Patrick, Zaid, Wayne, Gabe, Dave, Dad, Asif, Sal, Kim, Carol, Bean, Huei, Azraf, Gavin, Vanny, Bdest, Anson, Nadia, Faizah, Sara, Bwinston, Reece, Lex, Don, Tony, Irene, Marcel, Josh, Iain, Ironik, Java, Dan, Bean, Sean, Chessa, Max, JSS, Zack, Steve, Raymond, Vedoc, Rik, Jane, Sahir, Diha, Elena, Thiam Foo, Sara, Nannerz... =) and everyone else that I may have accidentally left out...

Thanks to my brothers a lot, for singing me happy birthday when it reached midnight in Sydney =D I miss you guys sooo much!

And a million thanks to Yoke, Tony, Irene and Marcel, for the lovely birthday dinner ^^ I had a blast..


Finally today, I'm back in class... I can't believe it's been a whole week of me being away from class... Sick, stressed, and hurt... and almost evicted x.x But I'm getting better :)

Today, however, I'm feeling particularly homesick.. Before I woke up, I dreamt of my lil bro.. looking sad and such... Woke up and all I could think of, was him.. But I couldn't reach for him or anything.. since it was about 5 am his time.. and then I had to go to class... came back home, and he's in school.. and as I post this.. he's still in school.. rawr.. hurry up at get home :K

Confusions, confusions

Amidst all talk... So much confusion has came about... However, I don't believe it... I can't believe the denial.. I may have been confused myself, but no... I don't think so.. I always try to be as frank as possible... when it comes to serious matters, of course...

It's really unbelievable to me... But I think she's right... If only I knew what was happening.. if only I knew... Meh, was kept in the dark afterall... As of this moment, I just don't want to care anymore.. I give in... Go ahead and say that I lied and such... I believe in myself, and those who knows me well would believe me too, thanks...

Oh well, anyway, things are finally improving... except my laziness to do homework, as usual o.o

Health is finally improving, I'm finally able to put that messed up friendship behind, now that I know the truth.., blood test results were awesome, but the scan didn't come too clean... got a syndrome of something, but since it didn't correlate with the blood results, so it's nothing serious... for now :D as for the fatigue, low blood pressure and such i've been suffering.. most likely because of the messed up body system of mine *cough* and the stress I've been facing...

Thanks again, to my friends, who still stood by me... I love you guys so much, you're everything to me, the reason I go on =)

I will definitely meet you all one day x

When two sides collide

It's interesting when you learn and realize what's happening on the other side. People are scary. Relationships are scary. It creates all sorts of misunderstanding, mistrust, and it can turn very nice people into complete jerks.

I've learnt a lot, these past two days, a lot of things I wasn't even aware of at all... Way to go, keeping the actual situation from me...

On the good side, the number of people I trust is now even less, and do I still cherish the friendship that I lost? No.. I don't think so, but we'll see. Someone told me, not all people view friendship the same way, I guess I tried to keep too close to my friends, because I'm always afraid of losing them. I've never been able to keep the same group of people hanging around me, since I was born, it changes almost every year. But I do miss and wish the bubbly UiTM bunch back in Malaysia, yet no proper means to keep in touch with them, other than the internet... but of course, I'm the only one addicted to the internet this much xD

At least one of the bubbly bunch is coming over, so it's gonna be a blast ^^

But when people make all sorts of assumptions of you (as in, the ones that are unrelated to the problem), and they never even listened to your side of the story, then you know, something's not right. I don't know what's gonna happen now, but after a long niiiiice chat with someone I still care for, and also cares for me, I've managed to let most of my anger go. If only I can get my illness to go away as well xD

No appetite, but not enough food... Hm... I can sense some ppl who're gonna nag at me about my lifestyle 0:-) *hides* But like I mentioned in my previous post... Changes are gonna be done, and I'm very much looking forward to it ^^

I hate my body clock now.. hahaha

Since summer came, my body clock shifted... So I tend to be in bed by 11-12am latest, and be up around 5.30 am earliest, usually around 6-7 am

So last night, after another long day, I slept close to 11 pm. Then.. I woke up, thinking that it's morning around 6-7 am already. But the time: 1 AM. blahhhhh :K

Oh well, at least I caught Lachlan awake, and I guess that's a good thing, since he's been looking for me. Zaid was around too, but WoWing, as usual =P Steven is missing tho, *bites him* Steven Jr, is asleep, I think, good for him, thanks for keeping me company last night

And today, well the 3rd, it's Steve's birthday, I wish him a very happy birthday *clap* ^^


*sighs* no reply or anything still, I wonder where I stand now

Goals this month:
Go inactive on neo, by the end of February/beginning or March, just so I can have one last month of fun in my legion, and the guild... Hopefully, I will have also filled up the mini mall by then, so I don't have to venture to the BDC anymore
Stop thinking about my loss of trust and friendship, hoping I'll be able to focus again
Protect myself from hurting myself from caring and trusting too much
Upload more pics onto my pic blog =p
Be a lot more fluent in Mandarin by the end of the Level 2 class
Fix up my crappy life in Aussie
Find more self-esteem.. somehow...

Things to look forward to:
Umm.. learning to cook with Yoke? (classmate in mandarin class)
Bal's arrival (yay!)
Start of the semester (Er...)
Oh yeah... me turning older x.x (Blah, I like 21)

I'm so hopeless... My mind still wanders about the friend who is no longer a friend =/ Always thinking if my e-mail was read... thinking if what I've been posting is read... if my little messages were read... if i'm actually really cut out from the friendship, just like that... I'm thinking... if it's so easy for him to do that... Why can't I do the same? Why is it hard for me to let go as well? It's different... I know there're some friends, who I no longer speak to as much... or just drift apart... Most of them, I think, almost all, actually, we parted on good terms... we went on with our own lives... But if we ever meet again, or bump into each other, it'll be "hey! how have you been doing?" and such... But this one... the cold shoulder... the silent treatment... Thus, I'm so bewildered

*tries to put it all away* but it's not easy... because, i don't want to... but i have to x.x

and today, blahhh... had to pay rent still... so idk what's up with the arrangement between the Housing/Office and the Bank, and I'm running out of funds x.x but i'll last a bit more... hopefully... and not get evicted from my home =/ *burns Unpaid Rent notice*

Geram :K

I'm just still so upset at what happened earlier this week =/ I'm sure a lot of ppl won't understand what I'm talking about... and just tell me to not worry about it anymore, and focus on my classes and such...

But it still lingers...

Another trusted person gone.. I guess I trust ppl too much... I guess I cared too much... I wish I can just deleted those two things, and just be selfish for my own good...

Btw, *pokes that certain person*, don't laugh at me :P xD

Ada seorang kawan baik... tiba-tiba, disebabkan orang lain, dia terus menghentikan persahabatan kita... sampai sekarang, terasa amat sedih, terharu dan geram =/
Bleh.. forget my malay :P I can't think, around this time, after writting a long e-mail earlier...

Such is life... bittersweet, yet now it's just bitter.

It will be sweet again... one day

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