I'm Wrong.
There.
I know I'm not perfect. I know there're many flaws about myself. I've lost the route of actually not blaming myself for everything. So now, I shoulder all my wrongdoings myself.
To me, things can't really be compared... Person with person, situations with situations... Lifestyle with lifestyle... there's always a good and bad in everything, and what we do, or at least, what i try to do, is try to correct our flaws...
I want to grow up. To be more matured, while retaining the so-called happy kid inside me. I want to be able to take care of myself, on my own. I want my actions, achievements to speak louder than words. I want to prove myself.
Sighs
Bleargh @ Independancy...
Lol, being on your own is great... and of course, there are things that are not so great as well... hehehe... but one thing for sure, I'm learning, and I'm moving on =) With classes started, I've at least have a more proper routine, and I can see how it will be like when the actual semester starts.
Mandarin Class has been good so far. The teacher is very energetic and laughs a lot... actually, almost all the time.
The not so fun part: Walking half an hour upwards just to get there and back xD
Hmm.. Monday I found out I can't do anything about my visa until it's 28 days before it expires.. :P meh; there goes my study plan xD at least today, i got my visa stamped into my passport so ppl can stop asking me about it :K Tomorrow, need to go to the bank... and possibly the student centre to work on my messed up study plans xD
Thursday... shop for groceries x.x
Oh, and a bunch of birthday presents as well =S
Mandarin Class has been good so far. The teacher is very energetic and laughs a lot... actually, almost all the time.
The not so fun part: Walking half an hour upwards just to get there and back xD
Hmm.. Monday I found out I can't do anything about my visa until it's 28 days before it expires.. :P meh; there goes my study plan xD at least today, i got my visa stamped into my passport so ppl can stop asking me about it :K Tomorrow, need to go to the bank... and possibly the student centre to work on my messed up study plans xD
Thursday... shop for groceries x.x
Oh, and a bunch of birthday presents as well =S
Ni Hao again... =P
Back from my first class in Mandarin today =o
40 min walk to the place, because I got lost :P next time, it'll just take 30 mins... I do wonder how long it'll take by bus, tho =p
2.5 hrs of class. incl 30 mins break o.o
first half, we learnt a lot about China... the population, provinces, and such
second half, we attacked the pinyins... and it's hard x.x
hopefully, i'll be out of the house more often or so, so my mind is not always attached to the internet... it's not good for my health anymore xD *hides from Nads*
the class has 14 ppl... mostly multinationals, about only 5 ppl are chinese... and out of the 14, 8 of them are guys 0:-)
40 min walk to the place, because I got lost :P next time, it'll just take 30 mins... I do wonder how long it'll take by bus, tho =p
2.5 hrs of class. incl 30 mins break o.o
first half, we learnt a lot about China... the population, provinces, and such
second half, we attacked the pinyins... and it's hard x.x
hopefully, i'll be out of the house more often or so, so my mind is not always attached to the internet... it's not good for my health anymore xD *hides from Nads*
the class has 14 ppl... mostly multinationals, about only 5 ppl are chinese... and out of the 14, 8 of them are guys 0:-)
Rawrrrr~
Earlier today, finally sent in an official complaint about my neo-account... we'll see what happens... I'm eager to see the reply.
Anyhow... when someone likes you, or cares for you... yet never bothered to check or read your blog unless told to do so... is that normal? Or what does it imply? Even tho he knows the existence of your blog for ages, probably buried somewhere in his memory...
Ah well... things to do on Monday...
- Go for Mandarin Class
- Go to the Student Centre regarding my CoE
- Possibly extend my visa
Things to look forward to...
- ADSL2+ broadband connection
- Something that Miraz is sending me =D (I don't know what, yet)
Anyhow... when someone likes you, or cares for you... yet never bothered to check or read your blog unless told to do so... is that normal? Or what does it imply? Even tho he knows the existence of your blog for ages, probably buried somewhere in his memory...
Ah well... things to do on Monday...
- Go for Mandarin Class
- Go to the Student Centre regarding my CoE
- Possibly extend my visa
Things to look forward to...
- ADSL2+ broadband connection
- Something that Miraz is sending me =D (I don't know what, yet)
Confusion, confusion, confusions...
And no.. I'm not going to elaborate. Trying to learn to keep my mouth shut, or rather, keep my fingers from typing stuff that I should not share, or do not want to share.
Ok. So. I finally got my room line connected... quite expensive, but oh well, it's a lot better in the long run. Now just waiting the go ahead from myuu to confirm what ADSL modem to get =P Btw, the technician that came was pretty good looking ^^
Still no news on neo, about my account... sent then an official letter asking for a refund =P I wanted to quit, but I don't think I can... Not because I don't have the will to quit, but I don't have the heart to quit and leave all my friends.. >.< (plus semalam kena guilt trip gile2). If no news on the refund, then I'm gonna file in a complaint at BBB.org... :K
Anyhow... how many of you actually read my blog? Do comment on this post if you actually read this. I'm kinda experimenting on something...
Ok. So. I finally got my room line connected... quite expensive, but oh well, it's a lot better in the long run. Now just waiting the go ahead from myuu to confirm what ADSL modem to get =P Btw, the technician that came was pretty good looking ^^
Still no news on neo, about my account... sent then an official letter asking for a refund =P I wanted to quit, but I don't think I can... Not because I don't have the will to quit, but I don't have the heart to quit and leave all my friends.. >.< (plus semalam kena guilt trip gile2). If no news on the refund, then I'm gonna file in a complaint at BBB.org... :K
Anyhow... how many of you actually read my blog? Do comment on this post if you actually read this. I'm kinda experimenting on something...
A New Year, A New Beginning
Well... 2006 is done.. and there's so much to think about, so much to look forward to, in the new year...
I've made some decisions, which I may, may not regret, but it definitely kept me thinking every single time I have... I just need time.. time to think, time to find out what I want, what I like... Making that decision and actually delivering it to you, was really the most awkward thing I've ever done so far... Time will tell :)
So. This morning I called up Telstra again, and I'm gonna get a room phone connected xD Can't wait! can't wait!
Also, I read from myuu's blog about my dad involved in an accident... Immediately I texted my dad and at the same time wish him Happy New Year, and he called me up and we talked about it... Darn driver who red-lighted :K:K:K and also lied in the police station! :K:K But thank goodness, my dad is injury-free, altho not the same for the passengers in the other car... And now the blue car is a wreck again... just shortly after it was fixed.... *sigh*
I've made some decisions, which I may, may not regret, but it definitely kept me thinking every single time I have... I just need time.. time to think, time to find out what I want, what I like... Making that decision and actually delivering it to you, was really the most awkward thing I've ever done so far... Time will tell :)
So. This morning I called up Telstra again, and I'm gonna get a room phone connected xD Can't wait! can't wait!
Also, I read from myuu's blog about my dad involved in an accident... Immediately I texted my dad and at the same time wish him Happy New Year, and he called me up and we talked about it... Darn driver who red-lighted :K:K:K and also lied in the police station! :K:K But thank goodness, my dad is injury-free, altho not the same for the passengers in the other car... And now the blue car is a wreck again... just shortly after it was fixed.... *sigh*
Happy New Year~!
A very Happy New Year to everyone... Hope the new year brings happiness and prosperity... :D
Too bad for me, I was supposed to go to the city to see the fireworks and such, but my friend had to cancel out, so I stayed home... Was having a good chat with Steven, Nannerz, Jack, Java and Reece... till about 10.30 PM, I was feeling terribly sleepy... wahahaha... Guess it's a good thing I didn't go out afterall... So I went to bed, and slept thru the new years...
Not surprising, tho.. considering that almost everyday of my holiday, I've been waking up between 6-7 AM in the morning... Especially since the sun is up so early, and my room is facing east x.x ah well... i still have black cardboard/paper in my shopping list ;)
Anyhow, I talked with Zaid around 2 am my time... made me a bit confused... especially since I was 3/4 asleep when he called... *shrugs anyway*
After my last post, I had a good chat with my dad and brothers on the phone... Mum's in Indonesia with my uncle for the new years... Then, I had a lot to think about... But looking beyond 2006, I start to recall why I decided to do the things I did... I start to recall why I took up actuarial science... I remembered a lot of things, look through a bunch of old stuff in my computer, and realized, that I'm just going through a bit of a 'down part' in life, and entering the New Year, I'm gonna look at things in a more optimistic view.
Too bad for me, I was supposed to go to the city to see the fireworks and such, but my friend had to cancel out, so I stayed home... Was having a good chat with Steven, Nannerz, Jack, Java and Reece... till about 10.30 PM, I was feeling terribly sleepy... wahahaha... Guess it's a good thing I didn't go out afterall... So I went to bed, and slept thru the new years...
Not surprising, tho.. considering that almost everyday of my holiday, I've been waking up between 6-7 AM in the morning... Especially since the sun is up so early, and my room is facing east x.x ah well... i still have black cardboard/paper in my shopping list ;)
Anyhow, I talked with Zaid around 2 am my time... made me a bit confused... especially since I was 3/4 asleep when he called... *shrugs anyway*
After my last post, I had a good chat with my dad and brothers on the phone... Mum's in Indonesia with my uncle for the new years... Then, I had a lot to think about... But looking beyond 2006, I start to recall why I decided to do the things I did... I start to recall why I took up actuarial science... I remembered a lot of things, look through a bunch of old stuff in my computer, and realized, that I'm just going through a bit of a 'down part' in life, and entering the New Year, I'm gonna look at things in a more optimistic view.
No Strings Attached
Two days before the year ends.
I'm beginning to wonder... What have I done, what am I doing, and what am I gonna do...
This month has been another very trying month for me... moving, icing, online drama, adapting, internet, financially... But at this moment, what I do feel like doing, is breaking free of everything...
I don't want to be attached, don't want to be bounded, don't want to continue anything... Just be free, on my own... This both applies to online, and offline...
Frankly, I don't know how to achieve this... I care too much of what other people think.. as some say, I worry too much, I'm afraid of making people upset at me
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... especially about my relationships - friends, family, Zaid... I'm actually questioning myself, why? Am I really doing what I want? Am I happy? Or is it just a facade?
I don't know...
I'm beginning to wonder... What have I done, what am I doing, and what am I gonna do...
This month has been another very trying month for me... moving, icing, online drama, adapting, internet, financially... But at this moment, what I do feel like doing, is breaking free of everything...
I don't want to be attached, don't want to be bounded, don't want to continue anything... Just be free, on my own... This both applies to online, and offline...
Frankly, I don't know how to achieve this... I care too much of what other people think.. as some say, I worry too much, I'm afraid of making people upset at me
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... especially about my relationships - friends, family, Zaid... I'm actually questioning myself, why? Am I really doing what I want? Am I happy? Or is it just a facade?
I don't know...
The End of 2006
And wow, I really got lazy this year... hahaha... I'm actually amazed I posted so much last year... So much has happened... Online and offline... And perhaps it's the time to reflect, and learn from mistakes...
When things happen, they happen.. tough, no use worrying about it... So my dad says. I spent a lot or most of my leisure time ever since I arrived in Aussie online, making friends, caring for them... chatting with them... I cared. I trusted. I loved. But now... All the things I did that I thought was being a good person and such, seems to backfire... So now... I have learnt my lesson... which is, to shut up :P
Lol, anyways, things did happen. And it did hurt. So at this rate, quitting seems very very welcoming.. true that it may also seem like running away from problems, but at the same time, why cause the problems in the first place?
Anyhow, I've moved to Barker Apartments for almost a month, and I think life in UNSW will only get better :) Thanks to BNM. New housemates (at least all girls), no arguing couples o.o, etc... Well, I do hope it gets better :D *kicks self* xD
On another note~ I've signed up for Mandarin 1A class!!! wheee! scheduled to start on the 8th of Jan :D for 3 weeks
Fixed Blog
LOL!! seems like i disabled some kind of settings in the Settings page... well, i think it's fixed now... at least, i think it is :P
Anyhow... it's about time I revive this blog again :D
But now, I'm falling asleep, so next time then...
Btw, thank you, Steven!
Anyhow... it's about time I revive this blog again :D
But now, I'm falling asleep, so next time then...
Btw, thank you, Steven!
About Me
- Ayin
- Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia
- Liking a good challenge, physical activities such as sports, fitness; a bit on the lazy side when it comes to thinking games.
